“What you are looking for is what you are looking with.” Ernest Holmes
I’ve heard this quote before but when I heard it again a few weeks ago at the celebration of life service for our board president Tom Kimmerle, it resonated within me in a new way. In the past, when people would tell me: “you’re so strong, so wise, so brilliant,” and so on, I would respond with something like, “Huh? Me?” I truly didn’t see any of this in myself. What I saw was someone who just wanted to be tolerated by others so I would be invited to be in their company; I didn’t dare hope or dream of someone really wanting to be around me and loving my company – and loving me.
Over time, however, I have come to see myself as being strong, wise, brilliant, beautiful, talented, and kind. This is not a braggart’s list of my qualities. It’s the short list of what I am as God’s perfect child made out of its golden stardust in its same spiritual image and likeness. These are the qualities of God that I am as God has created me as its re-presentation in this human embodiment. But before I truly understood this, I used to look at others as being the bright beautiful people and that I wasn’t anything of that nature. Now I know better. I know that all people are bright beautiful lights of the One God that we are all one with and of. Each of us are, at our very essence, the Divine Love of God that God has made us out of and into, and so we are all love unfolding love.
I no longer look outside of myself for love. I look within by doing my daily spiritual practice of sitting in the stillness of silence and being present with an open heart. When I do this, a calm wave overcomes me. But there’s no sufficient language to express the immensity of this vortex of sweet tenderness. When I falsely believed that I could find love outside of myself, I didn’t know that this love was within me and that it was luring me to it, to draw me into its embrace and gently hold me. So, I start and end every day in meditation to remind me that -- no matter what -- I can never be separate from this love within me, as me. This is the Divine of Love of God that always has and always will meet each and every human need and desire.
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